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Updated on 15 January 2020
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Joy Love Dolls

Joy Love Dolls

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JoyLoveDolls! You guys know that I only cover porn, because porno is the greatest art form ever invented and I love my job. I also love jacking off and getting other people to jack off with me, because I’m just cool like that. But, there are days when I talk about shit that’s slightly hotter than porno and this is one of those glorious occasions. What’s better than porn, I hear you asking? Well, sex dolls. Specifically, lifelike sex dolls that look like real women, but talk a lot less. Hell, they don’t talk at all. Plus, they don’t get fat and saggy in old age. I’m basically describing the perfect woman at this point.

Can you imagine living with a woman who looks better than every hot pornstar out there, at all times, without needing any make-up or time to freshen up? On top of that, she never complains about anything that you do and when you get bored of her or you need to take a break, you can just stuff her in a closet and she’ll just chill there, perfectly content to wait until you get hard enough to take her for a ride again? Well, that’s what sex dolls are for and today I’m going to be talking about the most top of the line, the best of the best. The dolls you can purchase on JoyLoveDolls are the absolute pinnacle of human engineering. They’re so lifelike they put real women to shame. I’m dead serious. JoyLoveDolls is one of the best places on the entire internet to get your hands on some quality manufactured sex and I’m about to explain, in great detail, what makes them so awesome.

Looks Real, Feels Real

Quick, what’s the best part of a woman? Don’t think about it, just blurt something out. Well, if you said her tits, her pussy or her asshole, then we can be friends, because you are clearly a wise man. But let’s just agree that the general answer here is that a woman’s body is her best asset. Why? Because women’s bodies are made for sex. Well, the hot ones’ at least. And yeah, they have to be under 35 years old. Everything sort of goes downhill after that.

But, we can all agree that women’s bodies are the absolute shit and buying an actual woman is both illegal and disgusting. Women are not objects. You gotta show some respect. But, if you’re impatient and you don’t want to listen to a woman go on and on about her feelings and other such bullshit, you can just buy a lifelike sex doll instead. The dolls on JoyLoveDolls are the absolute best, most lifelike dolls I have ever seen in my entire life. All the reviewers that have bought dolls on this site make sure to point out that the dolls do indeed arrive looking exactly as they do in the photos on the site.

Since I’ve gone through a ton of these photos, I can tell you, these bitches are fine. Imagine every kind of perfect woman. That’s what you get on JoyLoveDolls. I’m talking huge breasts, I’m talking perky breasts, I’m talking breasts that are so massive they could be used as weapons of mass destruction. You’ve got tiny girls, large girls, tall girls, small girls and even just girl torsos that you can stick your dick into, if you’re into fucking headless chicks with no limbs. The world is your oyster when you’re on JoyLoveDolls. But it doesn’t end there. You are not limited to a library of hot chicks, oh no. It gets so much better.

Customizing the Perfect Woman

Have you ever played a video game that let you customize your female character down to things like hip size, eye color, haircut and the like? Every video game that has a character creator and lets me make a female character usually has me spending hours perfecting the ultimate woman. The downside is, unless it’s a porno game, you never get to fuck the bitches you create. Plus, it’s not like they can leave your screen and enter your actual bedroom. It’s all one big tease.

Well, not anymore. JoyLoveDolls have literally taken the same approach to character customization as you see in video games. Yes, you can choose a custom combination that’s already been named. Like, they’ll have some chick named “Sexy Lauren” or whatever and you can custom order her exactly as she looks in the image. But, what if she’s pasty white and you’d like her a bit tan? What if you like her hair color, but you’d like her actual hair to be a bit longer? What if, and I’m just spitballing here, you’d like to increase her breast size from a B to a quadruple G? Well, you can do that. You can customize every single part of the dolls you order on JoyLoveDolls.

You can get really wild with it too. I’ll go through some of the options. A few are obvious, like the hair length and color, eye color and skin color. That’s standard shit. But, you can also choose the genital types. That’s right. They’ve got different pussy and nipple shapes for you to choose from and they’re pretty damn varied. Some of you might prefer chicks with hard perky nipples that you could suck on for days. Others might like nipples that are so flat they practically look like they’re drawn on. Whatever the perfect woman looks like in your head, that’s how your doll will end up looking when she arrives at your door, in a box.

Extra Love, For The Hell of It

On top of that they take it a step further by letting you order additional heads, that are also customizable. So, if you’ve ordered the perfect body, you can swap out the heads in order to fuck different bitches every night. Hell, you can even order storage supplies so that you can hang the heads in your closet for easy accessibility, though I’ll admit that makes me a bit uncomfortable. Dolls give me a bit of an uncanny valley feeling when their heads are separated from their torsos. Either way, it’s your choice.

Down the vein of extra goodies, you can also get detachable parts that serve different functions. In other words, you can order a removable vagina, asshole and mouthpiece so that you can dump the cum you’ve left inside and wash them. I don’t know if they’re machine washable, but they’re basically just really intricate fleshlights. You pop them out, you wash them then you shove them back in. Just like reloading a gun or something.

If you thought that was impressive, boy do I have a surprise for you. On top of all of these goodies you can also choose the body temperature of your doll. How does this work you ask? Well, they have several features that you can opt for. They’re basically heating systems that are rechargeable and USB powered. So, when you’re not fucking your girl you’d plug her into a wall socket or your computer and she’d, well, power-up. You can order heated genitals, so that her pussy feels as warm as the real thing. Or, if you’re really flush with cash, you can have the entire damn doll be heated up to human temperature, because life is short and damn worth living.

The Best of the Best

I remember a few years ago when the sex doll industry was really taking off, I was kind of lukewarm on the whole idea. They hadn’t really perfected sex dolls, in my view. You had to pay a ridiculous amount of money to get a doll that even remotely resembled a human woman. Well, times have changed quite a bit, apparently, with companies like JoyLoveDolls essentially leading the charge.

These dolls are almost beyond lifelike. Their skin is realistic. It’s not just soft to the touch, it’s damn near human to the touch. On top of that, their service comes with an absolute fuck-ton of satisfied customers who swear by this company’s quality. I was totally beside myself when I first researched this website.

Oh and speaking of the website itself, it’s ridiculously well organized. It basically looks like a regular store, but with a ton of customization options. On top of that, you can tell that they make the big bucks, since they feature no ads or pointless nonsense on their site. It’s all neatly organized with a good amount of guides on doll storage and maintenance. Hell, they have cleaning guides and even shower guides for the damn things, in case you’d really like to dive deep into some role-play.

I’ve seen people who have fallen so madly in love with their sex dolls that they’ve married them. You’d think that’s crazy, and I can definitely see where you’re coming from, but consider this: There are people out there who marry human women, out of their own volition. Now that’s pretty fucking crazy. Stick to sex dolls. They won’t leave you and take half of your money with them. A onetime payment of around $1600 beats losing half of all your savings any day.

TheDude porno likes Joy Love Dolls's

  • Realistic sex dolls
  • Extremely customizable
  • Heated bodies
  • Delivered to your door
  • Extra heads available

TheDude porno hates Joy Love Dolls's

  • Hefty price tag