Anal porno is the peanut butter and jelly of adult entertainment – you can’t consume it every day, but life would suck without it. Personally, I like to jump headfirst into anal videos as often as I possibly can, and I have a similar attitude about having anal sex too. You can only really have vaginal intercourse with a woman three-quarters of the time, unless you’re a fan of having your dick caked in period blood.
Anal sex, on the other hand, is up for grabs 365 days a year. It kind of makes you wonder what went wrong in human evolution over the years for us to end up with a poop chute that’s more fun to fiddle with than the vagina that lives just a few millimeters south of anal town. I honestly don’t care one way or the other, as long as the girl I’m with looks like she’s having fun, and she finds a place for me to insert my dick. I’m a simple man. But when you’re sitting around at home, looking for some quality porno vids to jack off to, you really have no reason to compromise, so you should just go straight to the anal clips. You have infinite choices on the internet, and I think you deserve to go with the more perverted, obscener sex acts every single time. – You are paying money for porn, after all.
Loose Girls with Even Looser Holes
Analized have been anal porno legends for a very long time and they’ve yet to let up in quality. They hire the hottest pornstars, but only if they’re willing to take it up the pooper, and then they proceed to decimate their rectums like it’s going out of style. The last time I checked in on Analized, the first thing I saw on their homepage was Tori Black’s enormous gape, winking at me as if to say: “My asshole’s fucked, but I could go for round 2”. This meant a lot to me because Tori Black has been a serious pornstar crush of mine for the past 6 years. The woman is an absolute anal queen.
Analized aren’t fucking around with their pornstar selections. They pay the big bucks so that you can enjoy the absolute best stars in the industry, in brutal anal destruction.
But I Poop From There
If you’ve ever asked a woman whether she would allow you to stick it up her ass, you’ve made a terrible mistake. You shouldn’t ask. Just stick it in there and hope for the best. All right, I’m joking. Don’t do that. Even the disclaimers at the beginning of every video on this site say the same thing. Something along the lines of “Don’t try this at home, these are professional rectums, they’re trained to bend this way”.
But if you’re no stranger to women being squeamish about taking it up the pooper, you’re not alone. Your average woman is terrified of taking even the tiniest of bones up the poop chute, presumably because they have something against men enjoying themselves during sex.
Pushing it to the Limit
Unlike your prudish girlfriend, Analized’s pornstars do not have a problem receiving affection up the asshole. These girls are anal Olympians. They’ve been training their buttholes for years to the point that they can now get away with pretty much any anal insertion you can think of. And if you think I’m trying to say that these girls take large cocks up their asses and I’m impressed by that, you’re fucking wrong.
These girls take multiple cocks up their asses, at the same time.
Now I’m not gonna play Catholic schoolboy and say that I’ve never seen multiple cocks in a single hole before – I am a porno god after all. But it’s still very satisfying to see quality websites go out of their way to film tons of anal smut with talented pornstars and put it all in one place so you don’t have to look for it. Every single video on this website features extreme hardcore anal penetration, just the way God intended.
Quantity of Quality
I mentioned that Analized is not exactly new to the scene and it shows. First of all, the quality of their videos is absolutely insane. They use the best cameras and the best camera angles to show you prolapsing assholes of all shapes and sizes in stunning visual quality, up close and personal. When you watch these bitches get brutalized you can almost smell their shame through your monitor.
On top of that, the videos are all available for download in several different qualities up to full-fledged 4K. I was a little surprised to see that you can’t actually watch the videos in 4K on the site – they only go up to 720p. But I’m guessing that this is because the bandwidth standards in most countries are so low that people are used to jacking it to blurry GIFs of Pamela Anderson’s fake tits bouncing around while she’s running at the beach. So it makes sense that Analized expect you to download a 4K video first, and watch it later.
I do have one complaint though. There’s a bit too much cross-network advertising on this site. I don’t mind the occasional “Fuck me, daddy, I’m lonely” camwhore ad on the side of a site, or in a banner, but these guys are kind of pushing it. What pisses me off the most is that after I log into the site, I get bounced to their network and I pretty much forget what site I was logging into in the first place. Don’t do that to me, Analized! I came for ass, give me ass. Don’t sell me on that “mommy” shit.
Other than that the website is tight, tighter than most of these girls’ buns, which I guess isn’t saying much. Ok, It’s dark, it’s simple, it’s fast, and it works great on your phone. There’s a search bar, there are categories and you can sort by models. – So if you want to see nothing but Valentina Nappi videos, you’re all set; you don’t have to scroll around.
I also find it kind of funny that you can sort by the male pornstars that are in the videos. Normally I wouldn’t give a shit, but in this case, I make an exception because some of the dudes on here like James Deen are famous for their legendary anal mastery. And before you start calling me gay or whatever, I’m trying to say that when you watch James Deen videos you know the girl is going to get what’s coming to her. You’re still watching for the girl, but you trust the guy to fuck her right. There are also some listings for some old ass geezers that I’ve never heard of, though honestly, I don’t know much about male pornstars. Still, it’s funny to me that you can go out of your way to watch nothing but a specific ugly-ass old dude ramming young hot pornstars up the pooper.
If you are a normal human male, you like anal sex. If you like anal sex, you love Analized. I’m not saying you have to subscribe to Analized. Maybe you’re poor. Maybe you’re allergic to good porn. To each his own. I’m just saying that if you wanna see any and all kinds of hot ass young pornstars being violently rammed up the asshole, you should consider Analized. They know exactly what they’re doing and they do it right.
It’s also important to note that they have tons of videos with all kinds of anal acrobats, so you can pick your poison. They got skinny bitches, thick bitches, girls that moan and ones that are playing hard to get. But one way or another they all get anally brutalized, and I have nothing but mad respect for them.
And as an added bonus: Analized has the now-infamous James Deen, Krissy Lynn video that went viral a few years back, so if you do sign up I suggest you start with that one. It’s titled “KRISSY LYNN’S SONG OF ANAL DESTRUCTION”. In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, check out the video at the 12:30 mark. Dude fucks her asshole so hard that she stars to dissociate like she’s going through an exorcism. It’s anal poundage at its finest.
TheDude porno likes Analized's
- Pornstars. Nothing but legends and anal acrobats.
- Primo quality. These videos are top notch, and the camera man is kind enough to keep the dudes out of frame for the most part.
- Pricing. $12.95 for a primo anal website is a decent deal. (Charged yearly)
TheDude porno hates Analized's
- Network ad bullshit. Seriously, fuck networks. I know they help the industry, but at what cost?
- No lesbian anal. Now that’s a fucking tragedy.